Wednesday, July 27, 2011

Reflexiones

Escribi el siguiente poema despues del un encuentro con la realidad aca en Colombia.  (por favor, disculpen los errores del espanol)

Libertad

Yo:  Todos los dias, salgo de la casa y
volteo a la izquierda.
En el suelo, las huellas antepasadas
marcan el camino.

Me sigo, dia tras dia, asi que
no me pierdo bajo el cielo nublado y entre
las gotas de agua que caen.
Mi chaqueta roja es impermeable a lagrimas, aun
lagrimas celestiales.

Me destaco entre las masas.
Tengo un tatuaje que mira
desde debajo de mi manga
cuando agarro el pasamanos
en el bus.  Soy mona
y jamas me pinto el cabello.

Tengo un accento,
y demasiadoes documentos officiales.
Mi nombre es inolvidable,
unico, e intencional.

Ando sola.  Codicio mi independencia.
No miro sobre el hombro-
los que me siguen son
bendiciones, son suertes,
son canciones y oraciones.

Me quedo en la ventana
para ver la vista, y cuando el atardecer
llena mi espiritu, bailo en la calle,
descalza,
porque se que tengo zapatos en la casa.

Tu:
Mira atras  (te persiguen)
No me hables por telefono (lo interceptan)
Pinta el cabello (conocen tu rostro)
Jamas grita, chilla, baila (te escuchan)
Mira por la ventana (pasa un desconocido)
No llores (sabran)
No denuncies (no haran nada)
Callate  Escondete
No tengas esperanza
(no existe)
No alcanzaras el mar.

Monday, July 25, 2011

Lead Change

Wow- it's been quite a few packed weeks since I last added to the blog, and I have a list of ideas for entries, but I'll start with the most recent idea and work backwards from there.

I was surprised today to be listening to our morning lecture (we call them charlas, or chats, which is actually a better name as we usually semi-casually discuss something, as opposed to having a formal lecture) and to suddenly think of a horseback riding metaphor to explain what we were talking about.  I suppose horseback riding is probably the skill I've most practiced in my life, so it's inevitably part of my subconscious, but usually it doesn't occur to me to explain modern armed conflict through horses.  Bear with me.

When you are cantering a horse, it will lead each step of the stride with one of the front legs- it will make contact first with one leg, then throw the other out in front.  The second that lands, or the one in front, is called the lead leg.  When a horse is cantering in a circle, to maintain balance, it has to lead with the inside leg.  Thus, if you switch directions, you have to change leads.  Often, you start out changing leads by bringing the horse down to a trot, then asking it to pick up the other lead.  When you and your horse know each other, you can move on to a flying lead change, which is effectively switching the leading leg in the air, as the horse continues to canter.  To ask, you have to gather the horse up- pull on the reins while keeping leg pressure on so it doesn't break stride, therefore helping the horse tighten and shorten the stride, until the key moment when you lift the outside rein and ask them to change.  Most horses, when they feel the leg and rein pressure together, tilt their ears back and listen hard, bend their necks, slow down, gather their legs closer and closer- until, bam, you ask and they tilt their whole body up and flip the leading leg.  Then the stride lengthens and you are back in the original stride, speeding around the corner.

It's quite beautiful, however, unfortunately I'm going to use it to describe a not-so-beautiful chain of events in Colombian modern armed conflict.  This morning's charla effectively described a kind of lead-change in Colombian policy and conflict- not any profound or fundamental change, but rather a gathering up, a careful reorganization of the factors, a deluding vision of slowing down, peaceful processing- and then, most dangerously, a potential acceleration in the same conflict, but perhaps in a slightly different direction.  A few themes that reinforce this assessment of the process:

1.  From 2002 to 2006, Colombia's President Uribe effectively mirrored our President Bush's security vs. democracy strategy- that is to say, the ideology that sometimes, democratic principles must be sacrificed for the greater security of the state.  Any organized, armed opposition to state was considered a terrorist group, and in Colombia, this definition was expanded to narco-terrorists, a category that included all the guerrilla groups.  These groups were considered the ultimate enemies of the state, and security against insurgents/defeat of drug production was the most important role of the government.  Both the governments of the US and Colombia have changed, in a strangely similar way.  Presidents Juan Manuel Santos and Obama are more subtle, and less overtly pro-force.  Both have at least advanced political dialogue that acknowledges difference without condemning it, and appear to be trying to advance policies that at least discuss complexities beyond good/bad guys.  However, they are still speaking the military-industrial complex language of a hammer as the answer to deeply, deeply rooted problems that include global inequality, drug demand meeting supply, and lack of economic options.

2.  During Uribe's presidency, with heavy fumigation and intense military attacks on guerrilla groups, government statistics show a decrease in hectares of coca cultivation and in numbers of guerrilla members.  However, alternate statistics point to advances in coca production per hectares (same quantity, more efficiency), and to little to no decrease in traffiking and processing.  Also, guerrilla groups may have lost numbers, according the government statistics (which, due to the horrific 'false positives' scandal of Uribe's government- passing off probable assassinations of young people as guerrilla casualties-should be taken with a fistful of salt), but they have also gained territorial access.  In a classic tactical response, they have run to the hills and dispersed both their numbers and tactics.  They are certainly not giving up.

3. Paramilitaries- Uribe also mounted a demobilization campaign against the paramilitary groups (non-governmental, privatized armed groups, originally formed as security groups for large land owners and narcotraffikers).  Supposedly, all but three pockets of paramilitaries demobilized.  Regretfully, a new classification has emerged in the last few years- bandas criminales or criminal bands- considered isolated armed groups without a political agenda.  A territorial map shows these groups acting in the exact same areas of Colombia as the 'demobilized' paramilitary groups.  Also, over half of the elected Congress is currently under investigation for suspected links to the paramilitary money in the election process.  The paramilitaries are also far from over.

4.  Briefly- multinational involvement- especially with the supposed decrease/ change in the nature of the conflict, Colombia has been recently opening its doors to foreign investment.  Mining, agribusiness, palm oil, and hosts of other multinationals have been courted by the government to come and invest in the industrial growth of the country.  Unfortunately, this is also a continuation (or reconfiguration) of the historical pattern of land consolidation and holding by a very isolated and powerful elite, just the changing of names of the elites from Colombian family names to multinational business brands.

Remember that I am still in the exposure/understanding stage of this conflict, and these are some of my first thoughts.  I am obviously ignorant of most of Colombian history and politics, but these are my first impressions with a little study.  To me, this doesn't look like the root problems are anywhere near being resolved (or even examined).  Instead, it looks like a momentary pause and re-assessment or re-strengthening of the various parties- to finish the metaphor, the gathering together before a big change in form.  This armed conflict is morphing, evolving, growing or intensifying or becoming more subtle- but in any case it is far from coming to a halt.  I'll keep reflecting on this theme as the months go on, so we'll see how my thoughts change.

Monday, July 4, 2011

Reflections on the Fourth of July, from the outside


Today, we decided to have a celebration of the things we love about the U.S., in protest of the conventional patriotism represented by the mass-celebration of the Fourth. The idea was to gather and reflect on aspects of the US that we hoped were different, and also give some concrete examples of the good about our home nation.

I didn't know that this process would be as powerful for me as it ended up being. Let me give some background on what I've been thinking about in these last few weeks regarding the US. When I make a significant change in my life- geographically, relationally, educationally... I have the tendency to reject where I've come from. As I try to adapt to the new situation I find myself in, I compare it to where I'm coming from, and it usually comes out as much more positive. This is incredibly easy to do when I'm leaving the US. All the sudden, as I watch people playing futbol in the park, gather for large family celebrations, eat traditional foods, listen to folkloric music, travel to beautiful natural wonders, and learn about cultural heritage, I find myself selectively remembering and criticizing the US. We are nothing more than fast food, the war on terror, commercial rap music, SUVs, and suburbia. We have no cultural heritage. We are the privileged, the guilty ones, the consumers, the exploiters. I enter this mood of repentance, emptiness and guilt. I feel like I have nothing to contribute because my background is nothing compared to the rich context I find myself in.

Today was a fascinating switch on the whole paradigm I've described above. Simply changing my thought process to think about both the terrible and inspiring things about the US, at the same time, was quite revelatory. There are awful things about the US. Our foreign policy is a disaster, designed to use the rhetoric of terror to justify a world-wide imperial search for resources. The institutionalized racism of the prison system, the education system, and the cultural narrative of success; the unchallenged myth of endless economic growth; the exportation of democracy through the military; the incredible destruction of the land we live on by the industrial food system... these are the aspects I keep at the front of my mind. They are true, and they are powerful. There is a system designed to preserve power as it is, to protect the status quo, in place in the US. This is obvious to me.
What is harder for me to talk about, at first, is the humanizing current that runs beside this complex and destructive structure. There is an expressive, beautiful, protesting, living river of people that is always pushing against the framework of power... and this is where I've grown, loved, and found inspiration. This is what I discovered today: that I love the poetry of the US, from modern spoken word artists Andrea Gibson and Anis Mojgani to Wendell Berry and Walt Whitman. I love the political fiction, from John Steinbeck to George Orwell. I listen to Bob Dylan, Tom Petty, and the beautiful folk that follows in their footsteps, seeking inspiration outside of the American dream. In the US, I have found movements for immigrant rights, protests against the School of Americas, people who bike as their primary transportation, school-garden teachers, backyard gardens, pacifist theology, multicultural communities and families, gatherings of Muslims, Jews and Christians concerned about the violence in Israel/Palestine, rainbow stickers, the Shenandoah Valley, bluegrass music.... There is so much more.

What I am gathering from this process of celebrating the good in the US is a powerful sense of pride and love, but not in the US exclusively or as a superior state. It is in, rather, the beautiful, expressive, loving, and human current that runs in contrast to the terrible, destructive, power-hungry system. This is everywhere. This is in the US, in Colombia, in Sudan and Pittsburgh and in every family and community and, indeed, in you and I. There is an attempt at balance, an equilibrium. This by no means forgives or erases the responsibility for the terrible things we have done and are capable of. However, it is impossible to throw out anything as wholly evil, because as we try, we discover that we have gathered goodness from the same thing we are criticizing. I have grown up in the US. It is my nation, but what I am learning from it is not to praise it over any other, but to recognize the lesson it is teaching me. 

Life is both beauty and ugliness, all wrapped up together. It is both lament and celebration, and I, at least, have grown by experiencing both. For this, I have to thank my home country.

Saturday, June 25, 2011

Ask why.

Friends,

Before I do anything else, I want to give a disclaimer- I don't have internet access here, so it's been difficult even to check email, let alone post anything on this page.  I am at Jess Sarriot's house currently, taking advantage of her internet, but just remember that posts from me will be sporadic until I figure out an internet account or a safe and reliable way to carry my computer around the city.  All told- when I can check, I'm loving your updates and news, so keep sending them, even if I delay in answering.


And without wasting more time- a few reflections.  I've now passed through Nicaragua in a whirlwind of Mennonite Central Committee orientation.  We spent a week at a gloriously green retreat center, and as we were essentially locked in with our group for the first few days, we got to know each other well and quickly.  The group is wonderful- from many different backgrounds, but with a shared spirit of passion for peace work, curiosity to learn about each other, and laughter to tease each other as we learn Spanish and English, respectively.  It feels like they are a safety net for me- leaving the U.S. with very little idea of who was waiting for me on the other end was terrifying, but this group has caught me and supported me already in an amazing way.  More on who they are later... but suffice it to say the orientation helped me integrate a lot of the ideas I've had over the years at EMU about development, peacebuilding, Anabaptist theology, and cross cultural experience with this very real work that I am entering.  It's daunting in scope, responsibility, and seriousness because working for MCC in Colombia is now my reality, not just a case study or an idea, but it's also so inspiring!

So now I'm in Bogota, Colombia, reflecting on my first week of more specific orientation with the Seed team.  I'm living with an older woman from a Mennonite church and another girl from the group, Daniela (from Peru).  We've spent our days in orientation and our free time traipsing around the intense public transit system of the city, learning how to avoid pickpockets, buying everything from mangoes to lentils in mercaditos, getting lost in the maze of streets (8 million residents in the city).... it's stimulating and exhausting all at once.  Add to this the challenge of doing it all in Spanish, and you have one young lady who is welcoming a weekend break.  (My Spanish has thankfully returned to an acceptable level in a short time, but it's still hard to recognize that I really need to study and work on it again.)

Our orientation has spanned a wide area of subjects, but I'll share an idea instead of reiterating the details.  I was talking with someone from the group, Leonel, about the Christian call to non-violence.  I believe non-violence and peace work go much deeper than just the concept of turning the other cheek.  Living in a peaceful way means addressing the roots of violence- questioning the entire system, philosophy, and mission of the violence of the world and living in a way that nurtures an alternative, peaceful lifestyle.  This is a huge concept, but I think what we've been doing in the Seed program so far takes peace work to this deep level.  We have been asking why, over and over again (I have to credit Tyler Groff here for this idea, from a conversation in the U.S. about the point of an education).  Instead of throwing ourselves into the most obvious peace initiatives or political positions, we are taking time to ask why about everything.  Why are the border neighborhoods of Bogota so dangerous?  Why can't we talk about our work over whatever cell phone or in whatever public place?  Why is the evangelical church growing so rapidly in Colombia?  Why are various people we've met so conservative politically?  Why don't we slam the taxi doors?  Why are bananas almost the same price in the U.S. as Colombia?  Why use that Spanish phrase instead of this one?  Why does MCC Colombia maintain a low profile?  Why do they work so closely with the Mennonite church?  And on and on- why, why.  That is our work so far.  We aren't jumping into this, but we are taking the peace process to a deeper level.  Understanding comes first.  And through the process of understanding, we are learning how crucial it is to practice this asking why. 

So, there you are friends.  The musings of the beginnings of the wondering here in Colombia.  More later!

love and esperanza.
Larisa

Saturday, June 11, 2011

the beginning

"The causes lie deep and simple- the causes are a hunger in the stomach, multiplied a million times; a hunger in a single soul, hunger for joy and some security, multiplied a million times; muscles and mind aching to grow, to work, to create, multiplied a million times.  If the step were not being taken, if the stumbling-forward ache were not alive, the bombs would not fall, the throats would not be cut... and this you can know- fear the time when Humanself will not suffer and die for a concept, for this one quality is man, distinctive in the universe... This is the zygote.  For here 'I lost my land' is changed; a cell is split and from the splitting grows the thing you hate- 'we lost our land.'  The danger is here, for two men are not as lonely and perplexed as one... this is the thing that is bombed.  This is the beginning, from 'I' to 'we.'"
- The Grapes of Wrath by John Steinbeck

The movement from 'I' to 'we,' is the beginning of resistance.  John Steinbeck,writing about farmers fleeing desolation during the Great Depression, saw great helplessness and despair in individual suffering.  When the people were scattered and lonely, they were powerless to make any change.  When they gathered around campfires, fixed each others' cars, shared a few potatoes, and talked about their experience, they began to see themselves as a group, as a 'we.'  They began to gain the power to challenge the structures that kept them down.

For me, peacebuilding work is about connection.  We try to bring people together- either people driven apart by oppression and injustice or by ideology and circumstance.  This is the beginning, as Steinbeck says.  The violence from the powerful in our world is directed at destroying this coming-together, this unity.  It is dangerous.  A 'we' has the power to rewrite the rules around them, to remake their reality.  This is resistance.

This is my work- to take myself- American, white, female, young, pacifist, Christian- and make a 'we,' with the people I meet.  To create a different reality together- of freedom, justice, peace, and hope.  This is our work- to keep our 'we' as we travel away from each other, as we follow different vocations, and as we widen our circles of connection.  This is our work- to reach out and bring each other in, to move from 'I' to 'we.'

Be part of this process with me.  Please keep in touch and let me know what you are thinking!

Take care.

Esperanza,
Larisa